WHO BUMPED OFF THE BUMP-AND-GRINDER?

Usually, when you call a burlesque act a “show stopper,” you don’t mean it quite so literally. But this time, that’s just what happened: The show stopped dead, and so did the girl. And as I looked at her nearly naked and completely lifeless body and the bottle of poison in her hand with my fingerprints all over it, I thought to myself: Porkpie, you’re in for it this time…