If you're like most parents, you want-more than anything-for your child to feel safe, loved, and confident that their needs will be met. However, this can be difficult when you're sharing custody with an ex. Instead of working together, you may feel at war with one another, and in the end, nobody wins-especially your child. So, how can you ensure that you and your ex are on the same page when it comes to co-parenting?

With this unique and highly practical guide, you'll learn the science of attachment theory, and how to apply it to your co-parenting relationship. Secure attachment refers to the bond between a parent and young child, which gives that child a stable and secure basis from which to negotiate life going forward. A child with a secure base can weather the storms of trauma and life changes -such as those caused by divorce-much more easily than a child who doesn't. Co-parents who understand this principle have a significant advantage, because they can learn how to provide secure attachment for their child, even while no longer living under the same roof.

You'll learn the "principles of engagement" for successful co-parenting:

- Commitment: Create certainty in the midst of change by committing to show up and be present for your child, thereby creating trust and reducing anxiety.
- Collaboration: Work together, with a shared vision for co-parenting, to create win-win-wins for all.
- Clarity: Maintain clear, concise, calm, and timely communications, thereby minimizing misunderstandings and providing accountability.
- Consistency: Build consistent structures in both homes to create reliable and predictable environments.
- Community: Cultivate community and external support systems, thereby expanding the circle of love.

Co-parenting is often difficult, and sometimes it can feel like a battle. But it doesn't have to be this way. Using the insight and wisdom in this guide, you'll learn how to build a solid and supportive co-parenting team. And the real winner will be your kid!

"“Smolarski offers a practical and empathetic guide for separated caregivers to building a co-parenting relationship that helps kids flourish... In this guide to creating “a co-parenting relationship that allows your child to thrive,” she outlines three different attachment styles and how they affect family interactions and details key principles newly separated caregivers can follow to prioritize their child’s emotional security during challenging times… The chapters cover the nature of the co-parenting relationship, making decisions, dealing with your child’s emotions (and your own), developing shared values and effective communication, resolving conflicts, and maintaining consistency across two homes… Throughout the book, Smolarski emphasizes self-compassion and argues persuasively that one parent can improve family dynamics to reach what she terms a “win-win-win” by implementing her suggestions even when the co-parent isn’t fully on board. Her realistic and relatable examples include diverse family structures, with children of all ages… A helpful and reassuring model of how ex-partners can put their child’s happiness first.”

—Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
" - Kirkus