An inside look at one of the world's great dance companies, and an intimate account of the emotional and intellectual development of a young woman dedicated to one of the most demanding of all the arts. Toni Bentley's association with the New York City Ballet began when she was accepted by the affiliated School of American Ballet at the age of 11. Seven years later, she became a member of the company. In the fall of 1980, as the winter season opened, she found herself facing an emotional crisis: her dancing was not going well. At 22 she felt that her life had lost direction. To try to make something of her experience, on paper if not on stage, she began to keep a journal, describing her day-to-day activities and looking back on her past. This volume is the result, offering glimpses of some notable members of the City ballet, with, at the centre, the man whose vision they all served - George Balanchine.