Just in time for the Apocalypse comes a new Biblical scripture from God and thirteen-time Emmy Award–winning comedy writer David Javerbaum.

3,000 years ago, King David wrote The Book of Psalms—hymns in praise of God that became famous worldwide. Now, with humanity on the verge of a self-generated catastrophe, God (with the help of another David) has decided to return, and reverse, the favor.

God has collected a cornucopia of insults of the human race in the form of prose, poetry, and parody. From topics as diverse as COVID-19, Trump, racism, abortion, meth, math, and on a lighter note, the platypus, God provides a 21st-century spin on life’s many problems. And he’s not alone: his son Jesus Christ has contributed thirty sermons of his own, updating some of his Biblical teachings for the modern audience. Even the Holy Ghost stops by to make sure you don’t forget him. Anybody who’s a fan @TheTweetofGod and/or NOT a fan of the human race is sure to love The Book of Pslams.