Now that Boris Johnson has left Downing Street to spend more time with his families, you can celebrate/lament his departure with this multiple-choice adventure where you take back control. Packed with 350 million endings, this is the perfect stocking filler this Christmas.

Yes, you are Boris Johnson, about to embark on a quest to fulfil your childhood ambition to be World King, a position so important that you will have to invent it first. It's not going to be easy.

You will be entranced by a monster called Trump, bewitched by a sorceress called Carrie, captivated by your backbench Orcs - and royally shafted by a little hobgoblin called Michael Gove. Not everyone wants you to be World King.

So watch out for those false turns which see you begging Prince Harry for a job, rotting in a Dubai jail, recruited by the KGB, wandering round Kabul trying to find 150 dogs to rescue, starting WWIII or mistaking wine, cheese, vomit and karaoke for a work event.

And try instead to use your magical powers to become the Emperor of this land; the star of the hit musical "Boris on Broadway"; or even the PM who leads Britain back into the EU in 2024.

Yes, you are The Neverending Tory. And this is your story.