Have you ever...

• Watched in horror as someone helps themselves to the last roast potato?
• Broken out in hives at the suggestion that you «Introduce yourself...» over Zoom?
• Been extra dramatic while rubbing in the shop's hand sanitiser, so everyone knows how thoroughly decent you are?

...then you may be suffering from VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS.

«Very British Problems» are sweeping the nation like never before. They are in our homes, in our Zoom calls, in the queue for the supermarket, in our schools, cafes, parks, rivers, cities, towns, villages, glove boxes, sock drawers... Basically, they're inescapable. There is no vaccine. There is no cure. So there we have it, we're stuck with the malady of Britishness for the foreseeable. Nightmare, isn't it?

Ah, well. Could be worse.

Not quite sure how, though, off the top of my head. Any thoughts?