Blaming, shaming and flimsy evidence: the ugly world of Good Mother myths

Good Mother myths find mothers at fault whatever they do. Alex Bollen proposes 'motherdom', a new way to live. Motherdom values and respects the different ways people raise their children, shifting our focus from mother blame to the relationships and resources children need to flourish

"As Alex Bollen reminds us in her irascible, informative volume Motherdom, what it takes to be considered a good mother changes throughout history, so as to remain always just out of reach." - The New Yorker

"[Motherdom] combines memoir and history to show how punishing expectations continue to devastate new mothers...a thorough investigation into the intense pressures mothers face." - The Washington Post

"Alex Bollen, a postnatal practitioner and former director of market researcher Ipsos MORI, turns her intellect toward the bad science on mothers. Her inclusive vision of motherdom is of 'a realm where mothers are valued and not belittled or undermined,' recognizing that not all mothers give birth, nor do all birthing parents identify as mothers." - San Francisco Chronicle

"A satisfying revolt against holier-than-thou moralizing around mothers." - Publishers Weekly

"It is no secret that one of the least tolerable aspects of motherhood is other people's expert advice ... [Motherdom] bravely hack[s] away at this ever-burgeoning thicket of good counsel ... explain[ing] how hoary, old, nature-versus-nurture cliches have stuck mothers in a place where they can do no right." - New Scientist

"The specter of the Bad Mother looms over every bleary-eyed and terrified new mom. In this book, researcher and mother Alex Bollen digs into the real stories behind the nebulous studies and perceptions that shape societal notions about motherhood. She also proposes a new model of motherhood, "motherdom," with which she aims to expand our conception of "good" child-rearing. I can think of countless people, mothers and not, in desperate need of this book." - Lit Hub’s Most Anticipated Books of 2025

"Parenting is difficult enough without dealing with myths of what it means to be a good mother. I who often felt like a failure as a mother appreciate Bollen's focus on a more realistic approach to parenting." - The Millions