The extraordinary and searingly honest personal story of musician Miki Berenyi, revealing the highs and lows of navigating the madness of the '90s music industry.

Rough Trade Book of the Year
Resident Book of the Year
A Rolling Stone Book of the Year
A Mojo Book of the Year
A Sunday Times Book of the Year

Formed in 1988, Lush were part of the London gig scene during one of the most vibrant and creative periods in UK music. Now, Miki Berenyi tells all.

From the bohemian ways of her father's social circle to the privileged glamour of her mother's acting career, Miki's young life was a blur of travel, celebrities and peripatetic schooling. But frequent relocation, parental neglect and the dark presence of her abusive grandmother resulted in crippling shyness, mental-health issues and a vulnerability to exploitation.

The route out of this hole was music - a passion shared by schoolmate Emma Anderson. The teenagers began attending gigs together and would ultimately go on to form Lush. Talented and exuberant, the band became hot property, swiftly transitioning from shoegaze icons to Britpop darlings.

Re-living the tours, recording sessions and music-industry madness they experienced along the way, this uncompromising memoir documents Lush's thrilling rise and untimely fall. Yet at the heart of the book are Miki's own battles: the conflict between her mouthy public persona and her thin-skinned private identity; the trials of being a woman in an infuriatingly male world; the struggle to find a middle ground between 'safe' indie obscurity and 'sell-out' international success. Miki also explores her complicated relationship with Emma - one that has fluctuated between camaraderie and rivalry over the years - and addresses the devastating tragedy that led to the band's split.

Told through frank confession, wry humour and searing emotional honesty, this is the incredible tale of a trailblazing woman and a seminal band.

"'A powerful, emotional journey intensely well told. All other autobiographies should be judged against it.'" - Louder than War

"'Honest and brilliantly written.'" - We Are Cult

"'Few autobiographies depict the highs and lows with quite the merciless clarity as Fingers Crossed.'" - The Monocle

"'A great life story combined with excellent recall and refreshingly honest writing is a bonus when it comes to any memoir, but the superb Fingers Crossed achieves brownie points by delivering details with real dexterity.'" - Irish Times

"'*****'" - The Sun