Master storyteller Patrick Ness turns to middle grade in a hilarious adventure about a mismatched group of animals attending school together, brought to life by brilliantly funny illustrations.
Zeke and Daniel have just been made hall monitors by Principal Wombat. This has nothing to do with the fact that they are monitor lizards. And never mind the fact Alicia, the only other monitor lizard in the school, is also a hall monitor.
Somehow, the three hall monitors must impose order on arrogant lions, excitable seals and super-relaxed pandas. And worst of all, there is Pelicarnassus! A pompous giant pelican and the son of a major supervillain, who inexplicably has it out for the lizards. Can the hall monitor lizards and their new friend, a blind, fearsome red-tailed hawk, protect their school from all manner of outlandish threats?
Zeke and Daniel have just been made hall monitors by Principal Wombat. This has nothing to do with the fact that they are monitor lizards. And never mind the fact Alicia, the only other monitor lizard in the school, is also a hall monitor.
Somehow, the three hall monitors must impose order on arrogant lions, excitable seals and super-relaxed pandas. And worst of all, there is Pelicarnassus! A pompous giant pelican and the son of a major supervillain, who inexplicably has it out for the lizards. Can the hall monitor lizards and their new friend, a blind, fearsome red-tailed hawk, protect their school from all manner of outlandish threats?

"This zany school adventure has likeable characters and explores friendship, growing up, and a parent who is fighting their own battles." - The Bookseller

"I ADORED this book. I don't know how Patrick Ness manages to get so much pathos into a story about a monitor lizard with France on his knee but he really does. It was sweet, kind, adorable and utterly bonkers but in a gigantic warm hug of a way. More please!" - Netgalley Reviewer

"Magnificent! I haven't giggled this much since the Wilf (Georgia Pritchett), Bad Guys (Aaron Blabey) or Mort (Rachel Delahaye) series." - Netgalley Reviewer