From New York Times bestselling and Carnegie Medal winning author Elizabeth Acevedo comes a huge-hearted, blistering journey to self-understanding and doing the right thing, whatever the cost

How am I spun from such good people?
When did I unravel?

The stunning new novel from the Carnegie Medal winning, Waterstones Book Prize shortlisted author of THE POET X, full of poetry, heart and humour

Seventeen-year-old Lil is anything but small. She's rebellious, she's loyal; she's figuring out what kind of good person she wants to be, or if she wants to be a good person at all. But more than anything? Lil wants to be free.
Because Lil is on probation, and she's trying really hard to be New Lil - follow the rules, keep her head down, take a breath and smile till her court hearing in three weeks' time. But Old Lil keeps rearing her head - the one that wants to go, run, find a way to open the pot lid to let the angry steam out.

And when Aldwin's silences turn to something more alarming - to talk of nightmares, of hearing voices - Lil knows that she is the only one who can help him. But he's hundreds of miles away and a stark truth is staring Lil directly in the face: how can she get to him without putting her future freedom on the line?

Does doing the right thing mean losing everything?

"

Memorable for its treatment of grief, depiction of family ties, and
lyrical strength,

"Eloquent, moving and suspenseful" - The Sunday Times, Book of the Week

"An impressive and moving read" - The Irish Times

"Transporting and powerful." - Guardian

"[An] unforgettable portrait of grief, loss and forgiveness" - Observer

"This story is blessed with...divinely piercing language throughout... Overflowing with truths of the heart...I can't praise this highly enough" - LoveReading4Kids

"A simultaneously heart-breaking and heartening novel" - Cultrefly

"A stunning new novel about resilience and growth. . . Theauthor's blend of prose and poetry results in a beautifully written andunique form of storytelling. . .The novel flawlessly juggles a host ofissues that many young readers will relate to." - Inis Magazine

"Through contemplative poetry and incisive humour, this stunning contemporary novel for 14+ year olds explores family ties, self-understanding and the cost of doing the right thing. Highly recommended." - The School Reading List