A hilarious, handy and affectionate guide to the mindset and values of this tribe of sensible, see-both-sides, middle-class blokes who drink alcohol-free IPA and eat pretend sausages at women’s football matches.

'FINALLY' - JAMES O'BRIEN

A funny and gentle deep dive into the most unbearably reasonable men in the UK – your perfect Christmas present for any dad, husband, brother or uncle who owns more gilets than shoes, buys vinyl (but doesn’t always remove the cellophane), puffs on a CBD vape and claims he has a brick from the Haçienda in his outdoor barbecue. (Yeah. Right.)

Packed full of quizzes, lifehacks and top 10 lists, The Centrist Dad Handbook will answer questions like:

Why exactly is the Centrist Dad’s taste in music stuck in the Blair era?
Why does he carry a folded bicycle wherever he goes?
Why does he call it his ‘office’ when it’s clearly a shepherd’s hut?
Would he consider bringing back hanging if the rope was made of sustainably-sourced hemp?

The guide will also examine gnarlier issues like music festivals, e-scooters and whether it is OK to still listen to The Smiths if you do so whilst wearing noise-cancelling headphones and sorting the recycling. Plus food and drink ideas (the most centrist food is, obviously, half-and-half sweet-and-salty popcorn) and the thing no guide to Centrist Dads would be complete without: Adrian Chiles.

Written by Jason Hazeley (who co-authored the bestselling phenomenon The Ladybird Books for Grown-Ups series and anything with the word Cunk in the title) and Nico Tatarowicz (The Armstrong & Miller Show, Murder In Successville, Spitting Image), this is The Official Sloane Ranger Handbook for the 21st century. A humour book must for that breed of men who miss Top Gear even though they identify as cyclists.