How did North Korea become the top-rated destination on Tripadvisor? The answer is Juche ...

In this earth-quaking lifestyle manifesto, I, Comrade Hyun-gi, will share with you the blueprint to a healthier, happier way of life. Juche will teach you westerners how sleeping under your desk yields a better work/life balance; why food rationing promotes a greater generosity of spirit; how sealed borders prevent the agony of long-distance relationships and why pensions prevent people from living in the moment.

So come, dear Comrade, and step free from the landmines and tripwires of capitalism and march with me towards the socialist dawn that awaits us all.